🛁 “Self-Care or Just Escapism?”

The Confusion Around “Self-Care”

Lately, I’ve been told—more than once—not to forget my “self-care.”

Which sounds lovely.
But honestly… what is it they think I need to do?

I understand the idea of taking time for yourself. The concept isn’t lost on me. But the execution? Still unclear.

Back Then, We Didn’t Call It That

I came up in a time when self-care wasn’t a phrase you heard. If anything, it was a badge of honor to be frazzled and tired, juggling ten things while still managing to look semi-put-together. Stress meant you were succeeding. Bonus points if your toddler’s birthday party required themed décor and a backup cake.

If you were working, being the one who showed up sick was heroic. You infected your coworkers, sure—but you got the job done. You stayed late, took calls on your day off, all in hopes of that elusive promotion.

So, yes—I do appreciate the younger generation’s dedication to work-life balance. I genuinely admire the cultural shift. I love seeing more dads walking their kids into school and being fully present at parent conferences. I think they’re onto something.

What Does It Look Like for Me?

Still, when I’m told to “make time for self-care,” I can’t help but pause and wonder:
What does that actually look like for me?

Because I don’t have a beautiful spa bathroom. No sunken tub surrounded by eucalyptus and apothecary jars of pink Himalayan salts.
I do, however, have a door I’ve locked more than once for five minutes of peace. Does that count?

I’m not big on manicures, massages, or spa days. That’s partly a body image thing and partly a lack of patience.

I know my list-maker friends stress out in those situations too—not because they don’t enjoy relaxing, but because their brains are busy thinking about what else they could be doing. Peace, for them, comes when the list is done.
And honestly, sometimes I wonder if the list is just another distraction.

Sometimes It’s Just Putting the Week Away

Back in the day, my version of “self-care” looked like finally cleaning the bathroom—not for fun, but because the week had been one too many snooze buttons and rushed mornings. It wasn’t just about scrubbing surfaces; it was about putting the week away.

Or dancing around to music I loved while folding laundry.
Something ordinary made bearable—or even fun—because it was mine.

Maybe now, it’s eating ice cream in your pajamas while binge-watching the latest Shonda Rhimes drama. Honestly, that doesn’t sound half bad.

Reflection Over Distraction

But even as I reflect on these versions of self-care, I can’t help but ask:

Are we truly caring for ourselves—or just avoiding the stuff that actually needs attention?

Are we pausing to reflect and grow?
Or hiding behind bath bombs and binge sessions because real reflection feels too vulnerable?

Are there hard conversations we keep dodging?
A friendship that needs more honesty?
A relationship we stay in because it shields us from something even scarier?

A Little Seuss, A Lot of Truth

Maybe true self-care is sitting down with a cup of coffee and facing yourself.
Asking: Who am I now? Who am I striving to be?
What things are still on my list to learn?
Places to go and the people I could meet.

(Yes, I know—it’s giving a little Dr. Seuss. But we all need a reminder now and then that whimsical doesn’t mean naïve. It means hopeful.)

The Kind of Self-Care That Actually Protects You

As I get older, I’m learning that knowing yourself is non-negotiable. Because not knowing—ignoring, avoiding—can lead to decisions that hurt in the long run.

It’s how we end up in relationships that don’t feel right but feel familiar.
It’s how we find ourselves in jobs that don’t light us up but pay the bills.
It’s how we realize, a little too late, that we’ve been staying busy instead of being honest.

Real self-care might not come in a jar or a playlist.
It might look more like uncomfortable truths and hard choices.
But those are the things that really keep us safe—and ultimately, free.

And If You’re Already There…

And if you do know yourself?
If you already have the next trip booked and a fun class lined up—cheers to you.
Maybe drop a YouTube tutorial for the rest of us who are still figuring it out.

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P.S.
If you missed the post that kicked off this self-care exploration, click below.

Sunday Shorts